Home » Hi. I’m Autumn.

Hi. I’m Autumn.

Welcome! I’m happy you're here.

my deliberation face

I have a confession. This About Me page took me weeks to write. It seems that despite my propensity to regularly fill other people’s heads with the excess of thoughts from my own - when it comes to compiling a simple list of facts about myself, I am left speechless. The difference is subject matter. I am fascinated by topics such as probiotics, cute things my chickens eat, and the obscure - makes you feel inferior for not knowing what it is - produce I grow in my garden. Speaking of, did you know you can grow loofa? Yes, the little hard sponge thing. It is actually a squash-type cucumerbish vegetable and you can totally eat it! And then, for extra credit, let the inside dry out and you now have your own super hippie, sun-dried, organic, gluten free, homemade exfoliant. Oh man, I love the internet. Google it. I’ll wait.Cool stuff, right?

So. About me.

Mom friend!!!

Goodness. Where to start? According to several “how to write a killer about me” articles, I’m supposed to “paint an honest picture of myself”. Gulp. I wonder how honest we’re talking? Is it like job interview honest - where I brag about my achievements and hang my head in mock-shame while mentioning that my biggest weakness is my tendency towards excellence? Or is this more, happy hour with good mom friends honest, when the conversation turns to exactly how much TV I let my kids watch a day? (Depends on the day y’all. I oscillate between thinking I should throw it in the trash and being disappointed that they want to “play” halfway through a movie, how dare they!?)

Lucky for you, and those mom friends, I have a tendency to be both candid and overly thorough.

I do some really fun stuff with my life.

I’m a self-taught vegan cook.

I make delicious, healthy, cruelty-free meals - without recipes! I feel like a real jerk when I admit this, but I literally just go to the market, buy whatever I feel like, and let my pantry, my garden, and inspiration lead the way. (My favorite go-to meal? A fermented, cashew-based, smoked onion cheese on top of a dark leafy green salad with apple cider vinegar, olive oil, himalayan sea salt and crushed red pepper. Oh, and a chunk of warm, home-sprouted, sourdough spelt bread. See. Total jerk.)

food

FOOD

food

FOOD

I’ve got two kids I adore.

Kid #2

Kid #1

Which is infinitely more important than my cooking skills, but I wanted to first “grab your attention!” I homeschool these little humans and love (almost!) every day of it. I do admit to occasionally fantasizing about sending them off to public school and spending all day reading books and eating things I’ve hidden from them. Life decisions can be a real toss-up sometimes!

I get excited to research natural remedies.

I garden so I don't have to drive to the grocery store.

That sentence could have also said “I am a huge nerd.” But seriously, I have no limit to the amount of supplements I’ll take. People regularly ask me how it is that I know so much about alternative therapies - and the most succinct explanation is that in order to find that one thing that really worked, I first tested, and documented, 26 things that didn’t. Fortunately/unfortunately, I also studied each potential cure at length, and mentally store all of this crucial information where I had accidentally still been storing high school geometry.

I LOVE animals.

Fran! The world's best bunny.

I mean, I know, you love animals too. But I REALLY love animals. I have parrots, dogs, lizards, bunnies, chickens, finches and quail and yet I still daydream about new pets. I haven't entirely decided whether this is an undiagnosed psychological condition or a semi-noble obsession (as they mostly come from rescues or shelters). My latest preoccupation are desert tortoises. I envision them happily roaming my yard while the dogs curiously paw at their shells and my kids feed them lettuce. Any other suggestion rationalizations, please contact me directly & immediately: autumn@etherelixir.com.

I teach free yoga and meditation classes.

I have personally benefitted from the regular practice of both and want to share that knowledge and hope with as many other people as possible. Also, it helps trick me into being on a schedule. Something the artist in me detests (I want to be free, like the wind!) but the rational side of me acknowledges a routine helps achieve necessary life stuff (Mom! I don’t have any underwear!)

I’ve written a children's book!

It’s a beginner guide to the chakra system. That’s right y’all. I also drink copious amounts of herbal tea while diffusing patchouli essential oil. Hate me or love me for it - either way, I am too blissed-out on new age propaganda to let any negative energy dim my inner light.

A significant portion of this page ...

...was crafted while listening to Counting Crows, August and Everything After.I realize that this pertinent information likely should have been mentioned sooner. In my defense, it was a totally random music craving that I patiently waited for a perfect interruption-less opportunity to listen to. I don’t entirely know what significance this specifically holds but I just felt like it ought to be up to you to decide. By the way, Anna Begins? Such an underrated track.

There you have it friends

(and people that just stumbled onto this site due to the Pokemon key words). I have provided you with a general synopsis of myself. Obviously, I omitted a few fun details but all relationships can benefit from a little well-placed mystery, don’t you think? 😉

In light & love & all things meeeee,


P.S. - Oh, and I almost forgot. I invented ether elixir™. A delightfully healthy way to consume billions of live probiotics! You should try it! And tell people about it! Tell ME about it! I’d love to hear from you!

The form below goes directly to my iPhone, and even though it gets misplaced for hours on end, and regularly has a layer of petrified, unidentified sticky stuff on the screen - I still personally read everyone’s messages. That’s dedication, y’all.